


The Hundred Steps of Hell

by WhiteravenGreywolf



Category: American Horror Story, American Horror Story: Apocalypse, American Horror Story: Coven
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cordelia is getting Misty out of hell if it's the last thing she does, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Magical Induced Amnesia, Memories, Memory Loss, Psychological Torture, Trip Down Memory Lane, foxxay - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:54:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23442799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhiteravenGreywolf/pseuds/WhiteravenGreywolf
Summary: Cordelia makes a deal with Papa Legba: she will walk down the hundred steps leading to Misty on her own, but for each steps she takes, she will have to give up a memory of Misty she possesses...
Relationships: Misty Day/Cordelia Foxx | Cordelia Goode
Comments: 10
Kudos: 49





	The Hundred Steps of Hell

**Author's Note:**

> Alternative title: A Hundred Memories of Misty  
> Alternative, alternative title: Cordelia and temporary Alzheimer  
> Joking aside, this one-shot does show Cordelia in a large amount of distress over memory loss, so if you don't want to read it, I understand.  
> I wanted to write a story based on the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice, with Cordelia going down to hell to get Misty out, but I decided to change things up a bit, and that's how I ended up with this torture staircase. It is on part with the level of psychological horror we've seen in the show, I would say. I'm not good at writing horror, any sort of horror, so it was mostly an excuse for me to show Cordelia realizing her feelings for Misty.  
> When I began writing this story I suddenly realized that a lot of Cordelia's memories of Misty would be while she was still blind, meaning she would not have a visual of the situation, even if we as viewersof the show saw what was going on. I tried to deal with it as best as I could so it would not be too confusing. For example I used italics every time Cordelia is hearing a memory. If it's still too confusing please let me know and I'll see if I can fix it.  
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this story, and I hope you have a nice week!

“I was wondering when you would come to me again. She's been waiting for you.”

Cordelia tried to ignore the pang of guilt in her chest. She stepped forward, facing Papa Legba without fear.

“You know why I'm here then?”

“Of course. You want the Swamp Witch.”

Cordelia nodded.

“Name your price.”

Papa Legba chuckled lowly.

“Why do you want her so bad? I've seen you, trying to get her back for years. Why is she so special to you?”

“It's my fault she's been trapped down there,” Cordelia admitted in a wavering voice. “I have to fix this.”

Papa Legba stood up from his chair, straightening to his full, imposing height.

“I have been thinking about this exchange for a long time,” he said with a smile. “Pondering over what price to pay. I thought about asking for something of yours. Your eyes, maybe, or another sense. Maybe one of your girls. A life for a life.”

Cordelia braced herself, waiting for Papa to finish his explanation.

“Then, finally, I had the perfect idea.”

His cane hit the ground loudly, and a single wooden door groaned open beside him. Cordelia felt every nerve in her body fire up nervously as the door slowly swung open. She waited for something to come out of the door, some sort of strange, demonic creature. When nothing happened, she frowned.

“I will let you walk down to Hell, and get her for yourself.”

“What? Just like that?”

“Just like that. But there is a catch.”

She sighed. She should have known there would be a catch.

"There are many stairways leading to Hell like there are many stairways leading everywhere. This one is special. This one has not been used for many many years. This is the catch. There are a hundred steps separating you and your Misty. For each step you'll take, you will have to relinquish a memory of her you possess."

Cordelia's mouth hung slightly open as she pondered the dilemma she was presented with.

“I'm not even sure I have a hundred memories of Misty.”

She'd barely known her for a few months, how could she have so many memories of the blonde? As she thought about it, there was only one memory she could remember, that of Misty, unconscious on the carpet in the living room, of feeling the woman's body crumbling to dust, of being unable to wake her up and hear her voice again.

“Won't I forget her completely?”

"If you can make it to the bottom, you will. But then I will make sure you don't forget to leave with her. After all, a deal is a deal."

Cordelia nodded in understanding. She took a few steps closer. The staircase beyond the door was made of long, squared slabs of concrete, which looked sturdy but cold. There was enough light to know where she was going, and the stairs were wide enough not to feel too claustrophobic, at least from where she stood. The room didn't seem to have a ceiling, and the stairs went into a single straight line, without any turns that she could see. 

“You can turn around at any moment,” Papa assured, “Though of course all the memories you will have lost in the descent will be mine to keep forever.”

Again, Cordelia nodded. She swallowed thickly, contemplating the stairs. This was torture, she knew. The few memories of Misty she had, erased one after the other, clawed out of her mind. Papa Legba was toying with her. But, it was such a small price to pay, considered what he could have asked of her. And it was her fault Misty was stuck down there. It was only logical she would be the one paying for it. Her heart fluttered at the thought that Misty awaited her at the bottom of the staircase. Just a hundred steps, nothing more.

“I'll do it.”

Papa Legba smiled with all his teeth.

“We have a deal. I will see you at the bottom.”

In the blink of an eye, he was gone. Cordelia looked at the stairs once again. This seemed by far the most daunting thing she'd ever had to face. She took a deep breath and placed her foot on the first step.

She realized with annoyance that she couldn't rush, as the stairs were too long to be stepped down with a single stride. As soon as both her feet were on the step, however, warm energy rushed to her brain, making her dizzy. She could instantly hear it in her mind. The sound of plates being passed and emptied, and Myrtle, talking about caviar and champaign.

“ _For one of you, a last moment of freedom and anonymity before assuming the Supremacy. For any one of you others, possibly a last meal._ ”

Cordelia's chest constricted painfully as she tried to push the memory aside. It wouldn't go away. Instead, it clung to her fiercely, refusing to let go.

“ _To quote the Bible... loosely...” she heard her own voice echo in her mind, "'When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I understood like a child, I thought like a child. But when I became a woman, I put aside childish things.' Childhood is over, my girls. Put aside fears, reservations and petty things. Kick ass tomorrow._ ”

The memory was over as if someone had finally pressed paused on the film of her life. Her heart was beating nervously in her chest. Cordelia tested her brain, trying to recall the scene again. She did, she could feel the cold silverware in her hands, and smell of seafood. The bubbles of the champaign on her tongue. The last meal before the Seven Wonders. Misty's last meal.

Cordelia stepped closer until she was at the edge of the step. She looked down at the steps further down. There lied the torture, she understood. Each step would show her the memory she was about to lose before she lost it. She was forced to relive each memory, to know exactly what she was about to lose before she willingly gave it up. She cursed Papa's name under her breath. He really outdid himself this time.

Cordelia took a deep breath and forced her mind to conjure the memory again, the sounds and the smells since she couldn't recall the images of it. The table Myrtle had carefully set, she knew. The taste of the food, the nervous muttering of the girls. Misty's quiet thank yous every time something was placed in her plate.

She placed a foot on the second step. Cordelia frowned. Her head felt a bit lighter suddenly. Why had she been thinking about dinner and food? Probably because Misty liked food. What would she like to eat first when she retired after so long in the underworld, Cordelia wondered.

With a frown and a sigh, she realized she'd lost whatever she'd been thinking about for good. It was a horrible feeling, like having the answer right on the tip of her tongue, yet being absolutely incapable of recalling what the question was. Only whiteness was left behind, absolute white noise. Just ninety-nine steps more, Cordelia told herself, before she placed her other foot on the step.

* * *

The feeling of the old, musty robe falling on her shoulders had accompanied Misty's elated voice as she'd said:

“ _I feel like a queen._ ”

The smell of dust invaded Cordelia's nose as she heard Madison complain in the background.

“ _It's part of a ceremony called the 'Sacred Taking', which allows for the ascension of the new Supreme._ ”

“ _And we're sure Misty's the next Supreme?_ ” Zoe had asked, trying and failing to hide her jealousy.

“ _I'm certain of her credentials_ ,” Myrtle had assured with a raspy voice, still in the process of recovering. “ _She's brought back more people from the dead than Jesus Christ._ ”

Madison and Zoe had bantered some more. Cordelia's voice echoed back into her mind:

“ _Being the Supreme isn't something to wish for. It's not a gift. It's a burden. How many of these women had happy lives? They had the power, but with it came the crushing responsibility of the coven. They all bowed under the weight, except my mother, who ran from it._ ”

Cordelia had been handed the cold ceremonial blade by Myrtle. Even now, on her way to Hell, she could still feel its weight in her hand.

“ _Can I say something?_ ” Misty had asked with a weak, anxious voice. “ _I don't want to be the Supreme._ ”

“ _Nobody gets to choose. When Fiona dies, whoever it is... will be._ ”

Cordelia thought she'd become blind again for a second. She leaned against the nearest wall. The icy concrete sent shivers all over her shoulders and all the way to her mind. Cordelia blinked the darkness away and felt something wet run down the side of her nose. She moved her hand, making sure she truly wasn't holding the dagger, then ran her fingers over her cheeks, erasing her tears. She took a shaky breath. If only she had listened to Misty. If only she'd trusted herself more. If only Fiona had been a better Supreme. Then she wouldn't be in this situation, giving away her memories like casino chips in a slot machine. Then Misty wouldn't have been stuck in Hell for years, probably being tormented again and again.

Cordelia took a deep breath. Pull yourself together, she told herself. This is only the second step. You need to keep it together. She pushed herself away from the wall, straightening her back. She walked closer to the edge of the step, then without much hesitation, she stepped on the next one.

* * *

Finally, images came to her, encrusting themselves in her eyelids, forcing her to watch as the memory played in her mind. It was morning. Which one, she didn't know. She had her sight back, that much she was for sure. She'd been seating at the kitchen table, nursing a coffee, when Misty had walked in. She'd been wearing one of her long skirts, with a flimsy top and equally light cardigan, which looked not only old but probably torn. Her hair had been even more of a mess in the morning, and she'd still been trying to straighten it as she'd picked up a bagel from a plate on the counter.

“Aren't you cold?” Cordelia had asked, seemingly disrupting the younger woman's morning routine.

Misty had played with the bagel a bit, passing it from one hand to the other as she'd come to stand beside Cordelia. She'd shrugged.

“Not really. The swamp's pretty humid all the time, even in winter.”

“But right now?” Cordelia had asked. “You can borrow one of my sweaters if you want. Or one of the girls, I'm sure they won't mind.”

Misty had smiled at her.

“I'm sure Zoe won't mind, but I doubt Madison would let me borrow anything. Not that I'd want a tour of her wardrobe anyway.”

Misty had gone to pull a glass from the cupboard, and had opened the fridge, pulling a bottle of orange juice out. She'd frowned, shaken the plastic container, then had unscrewed the cap to look inside.

“It's almost empty,” she'd said with annoyance.

To Cordelia's surprise, Misty had drunk the rest of the juice straight from the bottle. She'd hated when Hank did that, had reprimanded him for it multiple times. But watching Misty do it, she'd found she didn't mind so much. Misty had dumped the empty bottle in the trashcan, cleaning what had probably been an orange mustache over her lip with the back of her hand. Then, she'd picked up the bagel and got to work preparing herself a breakfast sandwich, under Cordelia's amused gaze.

Cordelia blinked. The movie was over. She was standing completely still in the middle of the step – the third step – yet she felt like she was losing her balance. How long had she been standing there? How long had she been down there anyway? What if in her attempt to free Misty she too ended up trapped down there? She needed to hurry.

Brushing the memory aside, she stepped onto the fourth step.

* * *

Both of her feet hit the fifth step quickly. She didn't have time to think that she should have been wearing running shoes instead of heels before the memory hit her mind. An intense feeling of panic exploded in her chest. She'd been in the dark again, feeling around herself for something, pieces of cloth, clothes, smelling like grass and humidity and honey. Misty. She'd been searching for Misty.

“ _Come on Misty_ ,” her desperate voice echoed in her ears. “G _ive me a hint_.”

She could feel clothes being rustled between her hands. The smell became stronger. It was more complex than she initially remembered. It wasn't grass, but morning grass, still damp with dew. It wasn't humidity, but the smell of muddy water, strong but not off-putting. It wasn't just honey, but pollen and spring flowers, sweet, with a hint of sugar.

“ _Where are you?_ ”

The vision came back to her, though blurrier, harder to make out. Still, Misty's voice as she sang 'Landslide' to herself was stronger than ever, it nestled in her ears and refused to go away.

“ _Come on, where is that?_ ”

The feeling of clothes disappeared out of her hand, replaced by cold metal. Cordelia had to look at her hand to make sure she hadn't pricked her skin when the feeling of pain so suddenly appeared over her finger.

The memory faded away, leaving Cordelia somewhat breathless. She barely gave herself time to breathe before walking down.

* * *

Cordelia hadn't realized she'd reached the tenth step until after the memory had faded away. She'd already lost nine memories, she knew, though she couldn't remember for the love of her life what they were. She supposed it didn't matter. What she didn't know couldn't hurt her, after all.

She approached the edge but found her legs trembling. This memory was slightly more precious than the others, she realized. The first time she and Misty had worked together in the greenhouse. Making potions to help their plants grow. The images had seared themselves in the back of her mind. Misty's inquisitive eyes staring at her as she'd explained each step, paying attention like none of her students ever had. The way she'd bit her lower lip while she'd been thinking, or hesitating, Cordelia couldn't quite tell at times. Her smile, so bright, so full of life, when the plant had grown. Her moan at the taste of the fruit of their labor.

Cordelia looked down at the stairs ahead of her. Just ninety more, she told herself. She was going to sacrifice far more if she wanted to make it to the bottom, she knew. She swallowed, finding her throat drier than she remembered. Still, her feet refused to move. There was a hollow feeling in her chest. If she made it down, she would get to see Misty again, she reminded herself. They could do that again, work in the greenhouse together again.

She brushed what she thought was a tear out of her eyes. Armed with the thought that Misty was closer than she'd ever been, she stepped down onto the eleventh step.

* * *

Cordelia didn't want to take a break, one foot on the nineteenth step and the other still on the eighteenth step. Yet her body needed the break. She was breathing with difficulty. She'd been going as quickly as she could. Once or twice, she'd even changed step before the memory was even finished. This created the worst feeling she'd ever felt like every single one of her senses was overloading. The voices in her mind became distorted and high-pitched, like an old TV set blasting white noise into her skull. The images became overly saturated, and hurt her eyes more than the garden sheers ever could.

So she took a step back, both feet planted on the eighteenth step. The memory didn't return, not that she expected it to. Still, it gave her time to breathe. She'd been slowly climbing down a set of stairs, yet she felt like she'd been running a marathon. Air seemed caught in her throat, clogging around her vocal cords. She closed her eyes and tried to take deep calming breaths. After a few attempts and false starts which turned into coughing fits, she finally managed to slow her breathing, and possibly her heartbeat. Though at this point she may not have a heart anymore. Saying goodbye to so many memories had torn it into tiny pieces, taking a chunk of her away. She could feel the difference physically, even if she knew it didn't make any sense.

A part of her brain was annoyed by the situation. Why would she even agree to this? She could have just stayed home, keep all of her memories to herself, and forget about getting Misty out. Yes, this was a mistake she would regret till the end of her life, but at least she wouldn't have to go through that torture. And what if she did this for nothing? What if by the time she reached the bottom and forgot about Misty completely, Papa Legba simply sent her on her way, without giving her her friend back? She had to trust that he would keep his end of the bargain.

With a huff, Cordelia shut the little voice in her head and walked up to the edge once again. She would not be doing this twice, that was for sure. In fact, why was she even doing it this once? Why was Misty so special that she would go through all of this? Would she do this for anyone else? Yes, Cordelia wanted to believe. She wanted to believe that she would do it for Myrtle, or any of her girls. That's not true and you know it, the little voice told her. Cordelia shut the voice once and for all, deciding that now wasn't the time or the place to start going crazy. She felt her ankles trembling as she placed one foot, then the other, on the nineteenth step.

* * *

Cordelia was a quarter of the way there. She stood once again on the edge of the step, allowing herself one last recalling of the memory before she moved on from it. This one wasn't particularly special to her, but it probably was to Misty. Fiona had invited her old friend, Stevie Nicks, to come to the school and meet Misty. The more seconds the swamp witch spent with her idol, the more Cordelia was certain she would faint. She later learned that Misty had actually fainted.

She let the piano notes and Nicks' voice echo in her mind. She wanted to remember Misty's smile, more than anything, that goofy, adorable grin plastered on her face, that just wouldn't quite fall away. The sight of her twirling, like wings would suddenly sprawl out of her back and take her away. Cordelia longed to remember this happy, smiling Misty. She longed for it deeply, not just in her mind and in her heart, but in her soul. Still, she stepped over the edge, and let her foot fall on the next step.

* * *

Cordelia brushed her tears away and stepped onto the next step. She'd lost count somewhere around the thirty-fifth step. She hoped this was the fiftieth one. She prayed she was halfway there. She forced her other foot on the step, then let herself crumble against the nearest wall. She was in tears, her whole chest was aching, and she had no idea why. This was the most heartbreaking, she'd realized. Why was she so sad? Why was she so haunted by those memories she supposedly couldn't remember anymore? Why did it feel like her soul was being torn apart with a butter knife, one tiny piece at a time when she couldn't remember the reason for her heartache?

She let out a shaky breath, and let the new memory wash over her. At first, she braced for images, but she quickly realized there was only sound. The sound of the blender mixing things, of the garden sheers snipping leaves and flowers, of the mortar crushing whatever had been placed inside.

“ _I don't know what I would do without you,_ ” she heard herself say.

“ _Well, it's the least I could do,_ " Misty had replied.

There was the sound of something being gently placed on the table. Cordelia thought she felt Misty brushing past her, felt the warmth of her skin, the smell of leaves under the rain accompanying her wherever she moved.

“ _I already told you it isn't your fault._ ”

She could almost imagine Misty biting her lower lip.

“ _Maybe we could try something?_ ” Misty suggested. “ _With my mud. Might not be the most comfortable feeling, but if it could heal Myrtle's burn, it might just heal your eyes too._ ”

Cordelia remembered herself smiling, or perhaps she was smiling right now. The thought made the muscles in her cheeks relaxed, and the smile fell.

“ _Perhaps. After the Seven Wonders. We'll have all the time in the world once this has been dealt with._ ”

Misty agreed with a hum, which resounded in Cordelia's ears like the last note of a song. This was the last bit of time they'd spent together in the greenhouse. Cordelia had almost forgotten how much space Misty occupied there, like a shy sunflower suddenly blooming big and bright when the rays of the sun found it. The greenhouse hadn't been the same without her.

Cordelia brushed the tears out of her eyes and pushed herself off from the floor. She looked up. She thought she could still make out the open door at the top of the stairs. She looked down. Steps after steps after steps. Steadying herself with a long sigh through her nose, she took another step.

* * *

Cordelia had made it a few more steps, maybe even a dozen, she wasn't sure anymore, when she felt the need to place her hand on the wall again. Her eyes would not stop running anymore, it was annoying more than anything. She brushed the tears away once again and felt disgusting as she rubbed her nose against her sleeve, sniffing like a child. The memory came back in sound once again.

“ _Who's there?_ ”

“ _A witch seeking safety._ ”

“ _Somebody is looking to kill me._ ”

The overwhelming vision of Misty being burned alive and bringing herself back forced Cordelia to lean her body completely against the wall.

“ _You're Misty Day. You were set on fire and left for dead. Whatever troubles you had, they are ours now. You're under the protection of this coven. This is your house._ ”

The voices disappeared, the feeling of Misty's warm, callous hand in hers dissipated, leaving only a sort of imprint, like a ghost pain, behind. Cordelia let herself fall, her back against the wall. She sat there and cried silently. She was tired. Her mind was tired. Her body was tired, for some goddamn reason, even though she was astral projecting and should not feel it at all. Maybe this was all pointless? Maybe she was already dead, and this would be her eternal torment, thinking she could get Misty out. This was the moment they'd first met, she knew. Would this all be meaningless, if she forgot about it, forgot the moment she'd first heard her voice and felt her presence? It sure seemed meaningless.

Cordelia didn't want to breakdown, not right now, not when it seemed there were so many more steps ahead of her. Still, she couldn't contain herself anymore. She let out a sob, then another. Tears freely dripped down her face, staining her blouse. This was pointless. She would never see Misty again, and she would never see her girls again. She would be stuck here forever.

She looked up. The top of the staircase seemed so close, it was impossible. She felt as if she'd been descending for hours, but the open door still seemed so close. Cordelia brushed the tears away and stood up. As long as the door was opened, she reasoned, there was time. She took a step back up, then another. What was she doing? She was here to save Misty. She took another step. How could she save Misty if she forgot about her? Another step upward. She had to save Misty. She'd already sacrificed so much, so many memories. Another step toward the open door. She had to save Misty. She couldn't stop now, she wouldn't be able to live with herself if she did. She froze. She had to find Misty, and get her out of here, whatever the coast may be.

With difficulty, she forced her body to turn around. Her legs were shaking, seemingly unable to carry her weight anymore, as she forced her feet down a step, then another. Misty's voice echoed in her mind.

“ _Could my friend stay, also? I left her out back in the greenhouse._ ”

She'd leaned in to tell her that, and her warm breath had tickled Cordelia's ear. Cordelia pressed her hand on her mouth, forcing the sob back into her lungs. She walked down, one step after the other, playing Misty's voice in her mind like a song, waiting for it to blink out of her mind.

“ _Somebody is looking to kill me. Could my friend stay, also? I left her out back in the greenhouse..._ ”

Cordelia was sure this was the last step she'd crossed, yet when her foot touched it, the voice remained.

“ _Somebody is looking to kill me. Could my friend stay, also? I left her out back in the greenhouse..._ ”

Maybe this was it. Maybe she would forget how she'd first met the angel that was Misty Day, here and now.

“ _Somebody is looking to kill me. Could my friend stay, also? I left her out back in the..._ ”

Cordelia blinked back her tears as the memory vanished out of her skull. She found herself disoriented for a moment, unsure why she'd so adamantly wanted to turn around not a few seconds ago. She needed to find Misty. Misty was... her friend. Misty was her friend and the reason why she was walking down those steps. She was sure of that fact, so she put another foot on the step.

* * *

Cordelia's entire body was shaking as she took another step. She let herself fall back and sat on the step. Her head leaned against the walls. She sniffed and closed her eyes. She waited for a new memory to come and replace the emptiness left by the previous one. It didn't take long.

Cordelia had entered the kitchen to grab something quick for lunch when she'd found Misty hunched over the counter with almost as much focus as when she was making a potion.

“ _What are you working on?_ ” Cordelia had asked as she'd opened the fridge.

“ _Oh, just lunch._ ”

Lunch, as it turned out, had a double-decker sandwich with a side of chicken nuggets. The plate had been covered with food. Strands of lettuce had been dripping from every level of the sandwich. Melted cheese and sauce had made a moat around the sandwich.

“ _If you eat all of this for lunch you won't be hungry for dinner,_ ” Cordelia had found herself saying, but before she could have chastised herself for acting like an overbearing mother, Misty had replied:

“ _No chance. I always eat loads all the time and I'm always hungry for more._ ”

Misty had picked up the sandwich and bit into it passionately. The sauce had coated the side of her mouth, and a piece of lettuce had gotten stuck between her lips. She'd sucked it in after chewing a bit.

“ _My lettuce is better,_ ” she'd decided, “ _but the tomatoes aren't bad._ ”

Cordelia had handed her a paper napkin, which Misty had accepted with a grateful smile.

Cordelia choked out a sob as she reopened her eyes. Misty and food. The thought made her smile through the tears. Was this the first memory about Misty and her love for food she would lose? Maybe. How was she supposed to know? Misty liked food and music, she was always listening to music, always the same, but whose?

Cordelia felt the thought stab her in the chest. She wanted to stop thinking about it, all of it, and just hurry down and get Misty out already. There was no point to dwell on what she'd already lost, it wasn't coming back anyway.

“I hope you're enjoying the goddamn show!” she shouted.

She pushed herself up with difficulty, brush the never-ending flow of tears out of her eyes, and walked on.

* * *

“ _I'm sorry, Miss Cordelia._ ”

Misty's voice was so powerful in her ears, Cordelia could have sworn the taller blonde was standing next to her. Her heart stopped in her chest. She knew exactly what this memory was.

“ _Sorry for what?_ ”

“ _It's my fault you're blind again. If I'd been able to get myself outta that box..._ ”

Cordelia had shaken her head.

“ _I'm the one who thought the sight would return to me if I blinded myself, it had nothing to do with you, and it certainly wasn't your fault._ ”

Cordelia had felt Misty's warm hand on her shoulder.

“ _I'm glad you're okay,_ ” Cordelia had confessed. “ _You must have been terrified in there._ ”

“ _I was... But I'm so glad you found me. So thank you._ ”

“ _Of course. There was no way I was letting you trapped in there a second more._ ”

She'd heard Misty hum.

“ _What is it?_ ”

“ _Well, it's just... I've never had people who cared about me before. Or at least not enough to, you know, make sure I was fine and all._ ”

Cordelia had smiled.

“ _Of course I care about you, Misty._ ”

I still do, Cordelia told herself. She still did care, even after all this time. She wouldn't be there if she didn't. She had never stopped caring, not for a second, and she intended to show Misty as much.

With a shaky breath, Cordelia walked down to the next step.

* * *

I care about Misty, she kept repeating to herself with each step she could. I care about Misty. I care about her. I'm going to get her out of here. And when I do, she'll see that I didn't give up on her, I didn't abandon her. I care about Misty. She tried to bring back to her mind everything that she knew about Misty. Misty Day. With feathers in her hair and the sea in her eyes. She liked food, she liked gardening, she liked... something else she knew she'd forgotten something. Misty with her adorable smile. Misty who cared so much about others. And Cordelia cared about her too.

Cordelia suddenly had to lean against the nearest wall, when a single, powerful sob shook her entire body. Her heart was pounding in her chest. Every image of Misty she tried to conjure up in her mind was like a nail to the skull, painful but not deadly. Yet they also conjured up butterflies in her stomach, and an irrepressible tug at the corner of her lips.

Cordelia placed her hand over her mouth, stiffening another sob. Now wasn't the time for this. She needed to focus, and that very sudden surge of feelings was not helping. And even if she had feelings for Misty, even if, she would forget about them as soon as she reached the last step, or maybe even before that. The thought made her stomach churn. She brushed her entire face with her damp sleeve and forced herself to take another step.

I care about Misty, she repeated to herself. Maybe more. I care about Misty Day.

* * *

Cordelia stopped looking at her feet and brushed the tears out of her eyes. She didn't even know how she was still crying. There was a door in front of her, at the bottom of four more steps. Cordelia blinked. She looked back up. She could still see the door looming over her, open, inviting. Her heart wasn't sure if it should stop beating, or start beating faster.

Cordelia had imagined the smile etched on Misty's lips when she'd managed to move the candlestick, and she tried to vainly held onto it fiercely. Misty Day is a friend I care about, she told herself as she took another step. She's a girl I care about. She's right at the bottom of the stairs. I can do it.

Cordelia blinked, wondering why she was thinking about a smile. What kind of smile? Another image came into her mind, and she remembered Misty's smile as they spoke.

“ _Time to head to bed,_ ” Cordelia had decided.

They'd been working in the greenhouse for hours without even realizing it until Cordelia had glanced had the clock and found out it had been very close to midnight. Misty had tugged her bottom lip between the teeth.

“ _Miss Cordelia, would you mind if I stayed here a bit longer?_ ”

Cordelia had frowned.

“ _Of course not. I just think it's a bit late to make anything. I wouldn't want you to fall asleep in the middle of a spell and hurt yourself._ ”

“ _Oh no, I won't... I just like it here._ ”

Cordelia had sat back down in the stool in front of Misty.

“ _You can tell me if something's wrong._ ”

“ _Nothing's wrong, I promise. Just... There's a really weird energy in the house. It kinda gives me the creeps._ ”

Cordelia had placed her hand on Misty's arm as a comforting gesture and smiled at the younger witch.

“ _It's okay. We can just stay here a while longer._ ”

Misty had frowned, a small crinkle forming on the bridge of her nose.

“ _No, I don't..._ ”

Cordelia shook her head, shushing her.

“ _I'm sure there has to be something we can do about the school's energy problem. If it's as bad as you say, we'll be doing everyone a favor by cleansing the house. What do you say?_ ”

Misty had smiled.

“ _Okay, let's do it._ ”

Cordelia tried to etch Misty's smile in the back of her eyes. Just a few more steps and she would see her again, and see her smile again. Her heart pounded in her ears. She placed her foot on the next step. She frowned. Why was she thinking about a smile? Misty's smile, she realized, as she placed her other foot on the step. She couldn't forget about Misty's adorable smile and the way her eyes seemed to bubble up like champaign whenever she was happy.

At first, Cordelia thought she'd done it. She'd reached the bottom, she'd forgotten all one hundred memories of Misty, and the few steps left were just a trick, to make her think she wasn't as close as she truly was. But then Queenie's voice echoed in her mind:

“ _Stare all you want, flower child, nobody controls my mind but me._ ”

Cordelia's wanted to smile at the memory, but her entire face ached and refused to do anything. Her cheeks had been moist with tears for what felt like hours. Her eyes had cried so much she thought they would eventually slip out of their sockets. She didn't need to see her nose to know it was red.

There was the sound of a slap, followed by a little laugh from Misty. Another slap.

“ _Hey, knock it off!_ ”

“ _This is fun,_ ” Misty had admitted.

Cordelia couldn't see her smile at the time, but she could imagine it. She held onto this image of Misty's smile like a talisman. If she could remember Misty's smile, she would be fine. She might forget everything else, the sound of her voice and the color of her eyes and the smell of spring she spread around her, but if she could remember her smile, remember the way it made her stomach flip, she would be fine.

Cordelia took another step. Why had she been thinking about a smile? Misty's smile. That was it. Her goofy, adorable smile, how happy it made her when she saw it. She let out a long, shaky breath. Just one more step. The door seemed so close. She thought she could almost touch it.

Another memory popped into her mind without invitation, breaking Cordelia's focus. She had her eyes, she could see as she worked in the greenhouse, watering the plants. She'd been celebrating the return of her vision and her autonomy that way, doing all the things she couldn't do when she'd lost her sight.

“ _Miss Cordelia? Do you need help with that?_ ” she'd heard Misty say almost as soon as she'd walked in.

Cordelia had put the watering can on the nearest table, and had replied:

“ _No, don't worry. I've got it._ ”

She'd been turning around as she'd said:

“ _Maybe you could help with the..._ ”

She'd blinked when her eyes had found Misty. The younger witch had been just standing there, staring at Cordelia. Cordelia had found herself staring back. She'd never seen Misty before. She'd taken in every detail greedily. The long messy strands of blonde hair. Her ocean eyes, like gems piercing her pale face. The many necklaces hanging around her neck. The emerald green dress she'd been wearing, the way it'd seemed to simply hang off of her like a second skin. The leather belt around her waist. Her bare feet.

“ _Why are your eyes all weird?_ ” Misty had asked with a frown.

“ _I can see again, Misty._ ”

Misty's eyebrows had shot up in surprise. Then, a smile had spread on her lips, utterly blinding Cordelia.

“ _How? This is amazing. Who...?_ ”

“ _Myrtle._ ”

Misty had approached Cordelia tentatively, looking at her new eyes with interest.

“ _So those are not your real eyes, right?_ ”

“ _No, but I won't complain._ ”

Misty had taken a step back and smiled again.

“ _Well, real eyes are not, it's good to see you happy._ ”

Cordelia's stomach sank in her belly. The moment she'd seen Misty for the first time. Where had the young woman come from? She couldn't remember. But this she knew, was the first time she'd seen her, really seen her. Cordelia looked at the door ahead of her. She was about to see her again, she knew. All she had to do was take the step.

She sniffed and stood on the edge of the step. She glared at the offending slab of concrete. She wanted to scream, let all of her emotions out. Think of her smile, she told herself. Think of Misty's smile. Don't forget it.

Don't forget what? She looked at her foot on the last step. A smile. Whose smile? She didn't know. She was so close to the door. Why was she trying to get to the door? Misty, right? That was her name. Who was Misty? She didn't know, but the name made butterflies erupt in her stomach. Someone good. She took another step, bring both of her feet on the last step.

The last memory was dizzying. She almost fell against the wall, supporting herself with her elbow before she did. It was just her voice, crying in her ears, and at first, she thought it was her, at that moment, one step away from the door, crying. But it was a memory.

“ _Misty... come back to me... Sequere lucem. Venite ad me... Misty..._ ”

She felt something slipping out of her hands, like sand or dust. The feeling tore a hole through her chest. She couldn't help but scream. It was disorienting, she almost lost her balance again. Misty. Who was she? She was the one behind the door, that was the only thing Cordelia was sure of anymore. She was going to get her out.

She pushed herself off the wall, and with trembling legs, she stepped on the last step. What was she doing here? She was at the bottom of some stairs. Before she could ask herself too many questions, the door in front of her groaned and opened. She assumed the reason why she was there would reveal itself on the other side of the door. Both her body and mind were aching for rest, her chest felt like a ball of spikes had nestled in it, her brain was pounding out of her skull. But something told her she needed to go in.

* * *

“If you don't want to dissect a dead frog, you'll dissect a live one.”

“No! Please! I don't want to... I...”

Mr. Kringley flew to the other side of the room like a puppet on strings. Misty's mouth hung in surprise. She brushed her tears away. Her breath hitched in her throat when she saw Cordelia walking toward her. Cordelia somehow seemed confused, looking around the classroom and the silent students with a slight frown.

“Cordelia?”

At the sound of her name, the older witch looked at Misty.

“Am I dreamin'?” Misty asked. She was terrified this was just a bad joke from the demons, giving her false hope, only to crush it.

“I don't know,” Cordelia replied. “I don't know what I'm doing here either.”

Cordelia stopped a few feet from her, her frown furrowing.

“I'm sorry but have we met before? I feel like I've seen you somewhere...”

Misty's heart stopped in her chest.

“I'm... Misty? Don't you remember me?”

Cordelia blinked.

“Should I?”

Misty's mouth hung open as she tried to find what she could answer to that. Something had happened to Cordelia, she knew. Her whole face was red and wet as if she'd cried too much. She looked tired, and could barely stand on her feet. Misty watched as she leaned against the table beside her.

“Are you okay?”

“I don't know, I...”

Cordelia's legs suddenly gave out under her. Misty jumped out of her seat to support the older witch, passing her arm over her shoulders.

“Easy now.”

“Thank you... Just give me a minute to...”

Still, Cordelia's head refused to stay up and continued to fall forward, too heavy to rest on her neck.

“She just walked down the stairs of memory.”

Misty turned around, bringing Cordelia carefully with her. A man was seated on one of the nearby tables. He wore a top hat over dreadlocks and old expensive clothes.

“Your Miss Cordelia walked all this way down to get you out. In exchange, she gave up every memory of you she had.”

Misty felt her heart freeze. She looked at Cordelia beside her. Cordelia's head had come to rest tiredly against her shoulder. She was barely conscious.

“The shock has finally caught up with her,” the man explained. “In any case, you are free to go.”

He motioned for the door of the classroom, which hung widely open as Misty had never seen before.

“But what about...?”

She pulled Cordelia closer, jolting her back to reality for a moment before Cordelia's eyes started closing again. Once she had a better grip on her friend, Misty added:

“What about all of her memories? Will she get them back?”

“Only one way to find out,” the man said, pointing to the door with his cane.

Misty nodded.

“Hold on, Cordelia.”

She pulled the older witch out of the classroom. Cordelia's feet dragged against the ground, making it more difficult for Misty, who had to carry her almost entirely. Misty was so focused on Cordelia that she barely realized she'd exited the room until she heard it slam behind her. She jumped in surprise, almost dropping Cordelia in the process. She was out. She placed a hand on the door, just to make sure it was truly closed. Her heart flew out of her chest with relief.

Ahead of her lay a series of steps, leading to a door. A shining bright light came from the door, like a lighthouse in the night.

“Hold on, I'm gonna get us out of here.”

She placed Cordelia on the stairs, then turned around.

“Jump on my back, it'll be easier to carry you like that.”

“I'm not... I don't even know you, why would I...”

Misty's heart pinched. She had to remind herself it wasn't Cordelia's fault. She turned around and took Cordelia's hands in hers.

“Try and remember, okay? Misty? We worked in the greenhouse together. You said I ate too much and I never listened to you. You always turned down my Stevie whenever you came in. You saved my life, twice now.”

Misty could see Cordelia was trying to remember, she could see in her eyes the cogs turning, but she saw no spark of remembrance.

"We can talk more once I get you outta here, alright?"

Misty helped Cordelia onto her back, then secured the older witch's arms around her neck before getting a hold of her legs. Who knew how long Cordelia had been there? Maybe she could end up stuck any second now. There was no time to waste. Supporting herself on the wall, Misty climbed the stairs one step at a time, as quickly as she could without jolting Cordelia too much. As she walked, she found herself singing lightly, pushing the lyrics with every exhales:

"For you... there'll be no more cryin'... For you... the sun will be shinin'. And I feel that... when I'm with you... It's alright... I know it's right..."

Cordelia's grip around her neck strengthened, giving Misty hope that the closer to the surface they were, the stronger she felt.

“Do you remember the next part?” Misty asked. “I taught it to you, remember?”

“I... I don't know...” Cordelia mumbled tiredly.

“It's alright. Here's how it goes.”

Misty forced her aching arms to pull Cordelia just a bit closer, as she continued to sing:

"To you... I'll give the world... To you... I'll never be cold... 'Cause I feel that when I'm with you... It's alright... I know it's right..."

The light coming from the door blinded Misty. She thought it blinded Cordelia too as she felt the older woman bury her head in her hair. Her grip on Cordelia was weakening quickly. Just a few more steps, she kept telling herself. Just a few more steps.

"And the songbirds... are singing,...like they know the score...."

She paused as she rest of the lyrics came to her. Tiredly, weakly, she managed:

“And I love you... I love you... I love you... like never before...”

She reached the top of the stairs with her eyes closed. The light coming from the door was burning her whole body. She thought Cordelia became lighter on her back as she stepped through. Then, she lost all sense of weight as the light enveloped her completely.

* * *

Cordelia sat up with a gasp. A hand came to rest on her arm, steadying her. She blinked tears out of her eyes and looked around. She was in the living room, seating on the carpet. Zoe was kneeling beside her, looking at her with worry.

“Cordelia?”

Cordelia tried to steady her breathing.

“That was fucking close,” Queenie said, as the last few grains of the hourglass hit the bottom pile.

Cordelia shifted her body, hoping to alleviate some of the aches she was feeling. She felt like she'd run a marathon.

“Where's Misty?” Zoe asked nervously.

Cordelia blinked. Misty. It was like a switch had been turned on. Misty's bright, inquisitive blue eyes. The smell of flowers she carried with her, like a little bee. Her warm, ever comforting presence. Her adorable smile.

“I don't know, I...”

From her corner of the room, Madison let out a squeal. Cordelia looked beside her, where a pile of dust was quickly rising out of the carpet, and back into shape. Misty emerged out. Cordelia's heart was thrashing in her chest. Misty's blue eyes open. She let out a gasp of her own and looked around. Cordelia swiftly got a hold of her, grounding her.

“Am I...” Misty mumbled.

Cordelia thought she wouldn't be able to cry again, yet she was, feeling warm tears fall out of her eyes.

“Yes, you're back. You're safe.”

Misty looked at Cordelia curiously.

“I thought you'd forgotten about me.”

“I could never forget about you.”

She brought Misty into a tight hug. Cordelia wanted to pinch herself. This couldn't be possible. Misty felt so real in her arms, so strong and warm, it had to be a dream. She buried her head in Misty's mane, letting the flowery scent of the younger woman wash over her.

Once Misty pulled away, she took Cordelia's cheeks in her hands, collecting her tears in her palm. She admired Cordelia's brown eyes for a moment. She'd never seen her eyes like that before, so full of life.

“I can't believe you did that,” Misty whispered. “Walk all the way down to Hell for me.”

“I would do it again in a heartbeat,” Cordelia replied.

A smile spread over Misty's lips. She leaned forward, placing her forehead against Cordelia's, and closed her eyes.

“I knew you for such a short time, and I've missed you forever.”

Misty let out a shaky breath of relief. She leaned closer and pressed a feather-light kiss on Cordelia's lips. Before Cordelia could chase her lips, they heard a throat being cleared.

Reluctantly, Cordelia moved away from Misty, though she refused to take her hands off of the younger woman.

"I get that you two haven't had the chance to fuck in a while, but I'd rather not have to witness your make-out session," Madison said.

Cordelia couldn't find it in herself to reprimand the younger witch for her language. Instead, she fell back against Misty pulling her into a hug.

“Can you stand?” she whispered.

Misty nodded against her shoulder.

“Come on, you must be famished.”

Misty smiled, and let Cordelia help her up. Once she was finally back on her feet, Misty turned to Zoe and Queenie, offering them a hug, which they accepted without hesitation.

* * *

Cordelia was resting on the couch in her office when Misty found her. She was carefully carrying a mug between her hands.

“I know I promised you some mud but I think you'll like this better.”

Cordelia smiled. She took the mug in her hands, as Misty came to sit beside her legs.

“What is it?”

“Lipton's,” Misty replied sheepishly.

Still, Cordelia blew on the warm liquid and took a sip. She placed the mug beside her and sat up more properly, to look at Misty with a fond smile.

“I can't believe I did it. I got you out.”

Misty smiled at her.

"Well, that's not exactly what I remember. I remember having to carry you back out cause your brain got turned to putty on your way down."

Cordelia laughed lightly, looking away for a moment. She looked back at Misty when she felt the taller blonde take her hand.

“I don't want you to do something like that ever again. I can't even imagine... But at least you got all your memories back, right?”

Cordelia nodded.

“I don't know why. Papa Legba clearly said I would lose them forever.”

“Maybe cause you made it to the end?”

Cordelia shrugged.

“It doesn't matter. I don't care about the specifics. I'm just happy you're back.”

“Me too.”

Silence settled between them. Cordelia could see Misty biting her bottom lip. She knew they had something else to talk about. She moved to sit a bit closer to Misty. She moved her hand around the younger witch's neck until her fingers could curl around the other side, her thumb brushing lightly over the nape of her neck. Misty shivered but didn't pull away.

“I don't exactly remember what happened while I was walking down, it's all very confusing, but I do remember all sorts of feeling coming to me. Thinks I hadn't realized before.”

Misty was staring at her lips, focusing on each word that fell off her tongue.

"And you're sure it wasn't 'cause your head was all scrambled up?"

Cordelia shook her head.

“Can't be. I'm feeling exactly the same thing right now.”

Misty hesitated for a second before she leaned forward. Cordelia used her other hand to push herself closer. Their lips met halfway. Misty's warmth seemed to spread over Cordelia, like energy passing from one to the other. Cordelia tried to pull them closer. Misty let herself be pulled down until she was partially laying on top of Cordelia, whose head rested once again against the cushions. When they pulled away Misty licked her lips nervously. Cordelia saw a glint of something in her eyes and frowned.

“What is it?” she asked, taking Misty's face in her hands.

“I'm scared this is all a trick, and I'm gonna wake up back in that classroom. I think something's broken inside of me. I've wanted to kiss you forever and I can't even enjoy it now.”

Cordelia placed a kiss on her forehead.

“It's alright. You're not broken, nothing a lot of rest can't help. You're out, I promise. When you'll wake up tomorrow, you'll still be here, and so will I.”

Misty nodded, and she let herself fall beside Cordelia, her head on the older witch's shoulder and her arms around her waist, keeping her from falling off.

“I trust you, Miss Supreme,” she said with amusement in her voice.

“Who told you?”

“Zoe. But really I always knew it would be you.”

“How? Even I didn't know.”

Misty brought herself even closer to Cordelia, nuzzling into her neck.

“I always had a good feeling about you. From the moment we met. I still do. I knew you were special.”

Cordelia couldn't help but sigh.

“I'm sorry I forced you to take the test. If only I'd...”

She felt Misty shake her head against her neck.

“Let's not talk about this anymore, okay? It's over. I don't want to think about the past anymore.”

Cordelia pressed a kiss on Misty's head and agreed:

“Let's forget about it.”


End file.
